Jonah Hex: Go West - and keep on going as Megan Fox shows she's one of the worst actresses on the planet

Jonah Hex (15)

Verdict: It's the movie that's cursed

Rating: No stars. A total turkey.

Jonah Hex is a unique mixture of horror story, comic strip and Western. You won’t have seen anything like it.

That’s because almost everything is wrong with it. Every character is a stereotype,from the macho, scarred bounty hunter who’s lost his family and now goes round killin’ people (Josh Brolin) to a couple of cackling villains (John Malkovich and Michael Fassbender).

Just about everything is under-explained, especially some super-sophisticated weaponry, Jonah’s unusual ability to talk to the dead, and some fights which may or may not be dream sequences.

Hexed and vexed: Megan Fox and Josh Brolin in the incomprehensible Jonah Hex

Extremely violent and full of pointless explosions, logically incoherent, badly shot and poorly edited to the point of incomprehensibility, it’s only 82 minutes long but still seems to last an eternity.

It comes across as an unwanted sequel to Wild Wild West, probably the most inane film of 1999.

I kept myself awake by pondering who had the most embarrassing southern accent. I started off thinking it was Malkovich, but then Wes Bentley attempted an even sillier one, at which point Malkovich seemed to get jealous and shot him.

In the end, I plumped for Hollywood’s favourite sex symbol of the moment, Megan Fox. As the obligatory whore with a heart of gold, she shows off a slender waist and an even thinner acting talent.

Her pouty, sulky, mannequin expression never changes whether she is in the throes of all-enveloping lust or threatened with imminent death.

Is she the worst actress on the planet? After this and the Transformers movies, she's got to be in the running.